The GreatestStupidestAwesomest Story Ever
by GlitterSharkEats
Summary: Read and find out :D


A'hoy thar, jerks.

This is for Emily. This is her really late B-Day/Thanksgiving/Halloween gift. Or her early Christmas present. Whatev, whatev. It took a long time, and it's not Super Long, but hopefully its OK. Dx And enough to erase all those angsty RPs and make me a decent friend in some way n.n

OH but we can't work miracles D:

Uhm...I don't own Zoids! Those are Tomy's. Emily, Phantom, Rosie, and Matrix belong to Emily. Dragon, Tank, TankDragon, and various characters belong to me. Cloud belongs to Squeenix. Yeah, whatever. You'll know whats mine and what's not :D

Reviews, what ev. This isn't Your Story, this is for Emily. So, if you feel the need to flame, go ahead. I will not read it. I don't write for fun, and don't need the review of some d00de in his 30s. :3

Peace, yo.

------

It was that type of day.

Black storm clouds circled above, casting an imposing aura on the building below. Thick, clear raindrops fell from the clouds, splattering on the ground with a roar. Bolt bolts of lighting raced across the sky, dancing and playing tag. The ominous boom of thunder cracked forward every few minutes, the world shaking as it did. Zoids looked up at the swirling mess of clouds despite the rain pounding in their ears and running along their optics like tears. Massive shards of Deochalum broke from Zi's surface, their glowing green tips reaching for the sky. The Zoids hunkered around the tall pikes as they talked quietly amongst themselves. Here a Sword Wolf, there a Brastle Tiger and Victory Liger. A Battle Cougar and Blade Liger, Rayse Tiger, Leoblaze, Konig Wolf, Trinity Liger, Guysack. Dozens upon dozens of Zoids littered around the black Base, some taking in the rain with open arms.

In the Base however, the mood was rather quiet.

Not for long.

Many people lived in the old war building, having shaped it into a decent home. It was clean but messy, light but dark at the same time. Bubble graffiti littered the ceiling in visible places, phrases like "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR." And "NO CLIMBING ON THE CEILINGS." Yes, just a typical Base filled with freaky adolescents intent on doing whatever their crazy minds pleased. In the Main Room as it was so lovingly called, people were lazing about. A tall redheaded girl with fiery eyes was seated at the mini-bar counter, shoulders hunched and head bent as she read a thick novel. A boy with equally red hair was sprawled on the sofa, one arm and leg dangling off as he silently read his own book. On the north side of the Room, massive windows overlooked the glowing Deochalum field, basking the room in toxic green light. Planted firmly in front of those windows saw a desk, complete with computer and various pieces of equipment. A black haired boy sat there, absently playing Minesweeper with a glazed look in his eyes. Thrown in a corner were colored beanbag chairs piled in all their squishy glory. Snoring like a bear, the infamous pilot Bull was totally knocked up……I mean _out._

While the Main Room was populated, so was the massive Hanger. Zoids littered the warm inside, happy to be nice and dry. A Death Razer patrolled around, growling softly as his heavy tail swung around. Glancing up, a King Baron watched him with red optics, his shiny gold guns bright in the overhead lights. Other then the rumble of thunder and splattering of rain, it was rather peaceful and quiet.

"OMG!"

"Did you seriously say _omg?_"

Yeah right.

High catwalks were placed near the ceiling, cast about in an ever-confusing maze of steel and wire. A round circle of it was dangling from the middle, and here sat two pilots deep in some conversation that was probably on the subject of guys.

"I wish I was a guy. Being a girl is horrible!" Silver eyes wild with making her point, Tank glared across the catwalk circle at her friend. Radium gazed back with one green brow raised skeptically. Her Deadborder body shone faintly just likes the rocks outside. "Um…" Radium answered, pointed teeth just visible from the single word. Tank flailed her arms, the silver flaws on her fingers throwing light.

"I mean, really. We get periods, we have heavy hair, boobs, and we _spew babies._" The teen pointed out. "Where as guys……get to run without shirts. But can we do that? Nooooo." The sentenced was finished with a strong nod, a finishing point. Radium stared. "Lovely. Now, how did we get into this discussion?" She asked, pulling her knees up to her face. In a simple movement, the Deady girl threw her arms around them, hugging her limbs closer. Tank shrugged. "No idea. But hey, when's Emily coming?" She asked, rolling over to peer down through the wire barrier. "Dragon better get back here soon." Came the added sentence.

"It was Cloud who went to go get her. He probably got lost." Radium added, resting her chin on her knees. "Did Zack go too?" She asked, to which Tank nodded fiercely. Cloud and Zack, the two lads most abused by Tank and Radium had offered to go fetch Emily for this speshul occasion. Before they left, Tank made sure to get a point across.

"This is something special that marks another year. Emily, Phantom, and Matrix only." The silver-eyed girl had stated. "Say hi to Jake for me!"

Idiot.

An hour later, and no return. Tank was getting antsy, and went to pacing along the catwalk cage. Radium's pupil-less green eyes followed her. "Do we have the supplies?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No?"

"What? You're kidding, right?"

"Yes:D"

Raddy glared at her, ready to snap something when a roar stopped her. It was louder then the thunder outside, causing both girls to jump slightly. Two figures raced into the cockpit, followed by a lumbering third. It filled the Hanger with an ominous fog as deep and thick as the muddy ground outside. Golden teeth snapped bitterly as slanted optics whirled a rainbow of colors. Shaking water from their armor, Aoi the Command Wolf and Century the Bio Liger looked at the Zoid behind them.

"Emily!" Tank screamed, jumping off the catwalk. She fell through the air, finally splattering atop the Berserk's Fury's cockpit. Said Fury snorted and looked cross-eyed to the girl on his forehead, Buster Claws twitching. _**Hello Tank**_ He rumbled in greeting. The girl muttered something back, then made a complete and serious effort to _peel her face off the canopy._

Her actions were cut short as the loud hiss of the canopy opening filled the Hanger. Something sleek and silver darted out, fluttering atop Matrix's backpack. Phantom yawned idly, silver tail twitching. _Nice one, Tank._ The Organoid commented, purple optics working back to the cockpit. Matrix lowered his head, ignoring Tank's squawk as she fumbled off the armor. A cane poked out from the side, followed by Dragon's best (and shortest:3) friend, Emily Cirano. She looked about once, her gaze finally settling on Tank.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack." She chuckled, hobbling over to the chimera thing. Tank looked up, all her silver teeth bared in a grin. "Nevermind that! Did you make purple yet?"

_Fwap!_

Tank hissed and clutched her head, turning to glare icily at the blonde male next to her. Cloud wasn't paying any attention to the teen, but was instead looking down at Emily with his mako-infused gaze. From behind, Zack carefully started forward, nearly running into Radium as she leaped from above.

"You! Upstairs! Now!" Radium ordered cheerfully, lunging forward to grab Emily's arm. Tank was up and falala-ing like a squirrel on steroids as she seized Emily's other arm. The shorter girl squeaked as they pulled her. "Wait! I can walk now…."

_Not without that cane, little cripple. Oh, I gotta go find Axis. Later._ Phantom chortled, letting out a puff of smoke from her jaws. In yet another magic-style p00f, the silver Organoid was gone; off to find her bigger and pointer partner in crime. Without much to do, Matrix stomped over to sulk in a corner. As long as he wasn't dragged into this, he didn't care what happened.

Unless Emily got hurt. Then the world would end, lol.

The trio tromped up the stairs, Tank babbling something about how great and wonderful the world was. Radium leaned down to Emily's ear, a smirk on her face. "I think Tanks' been shooting something." She muttered slyly, green eyes focused on the chittering chimera. Emily frowned. "Heroin?" She asked. Radium shook her head. "No, steak sauce probably." She answered. Before Emily could process that, the Main Room's door was rammed open. The members within looked up, smiling in greeting at the arrivals.

"WE BRING FRSH MEAT! TONIGHT WE DINE!" Tank hollered, letting go of Emily to flail her arms. Emily moved aside, sweatdropping as Tank laughed over into a corner. Footsteps behind them sounded, and Cloud and Zack stepped lightly into the room. Mako eyes expressionless, the blonde hero looked over Bull and his lake of drool. "Want to get that, Ari?" He asked, nodding to the redhead. "I'm all over it." Said pilot sighed, closing her novel. She reached under the counter, pulling up a heavy Webster's dictionary. Why was it behind a bar counter? Well……why not? Taking careful aim, Ari lined the book up with Bull's face as the others watched with some degree of amusement. "Wake up, fatty!" Ari yelled, tossing the book. It landed expertly on the blue-haired pilot's stomach, causing his eyes to fly open and a wheeze to blow out his mouth.

"Ari, you freakin' whore! What was that for?" Bull hissed, slapping the book aside. Ari glared at him; a glare only a red head could pull off. Bull blinked, then grumbled something intelligible. "It couldn't have hurt that bad, Bull." Roy chuckled, standing up from his desk. Echo followed, rolling off the couch and placing his book on the coffee table.

"Is anybody else home?" Emily asked. It seemed that every time she came here, some new person had randomly appeared. Ari closed one eye for a moment, thinking rapidly. "Uhm…Murt's out and Saber went with him. Aaron is visiting his parents, Archer is probably plotting at Zoid Eve, and Ed……" The pilot spun around to look down a dark hallway. "EDWARD!" She yelled. As soon as the word left her mouth, a head poked into the room. Golden eyes flickered about with interest, finally settling on Emily. Perfect white teeth were visible in the smile he gave her, and the tall guy walked over. "Hi Emily." He said simply, looking waaaaay down at her. Hey, Eds is 6'7. Majorly tall d00d, even though he was an Orudios in a past life. Emily smiled, then looked around the room. "Gah, where'd Phantom go? I swear, if she's plotting something I'll ram this cane right down her-"

_Swing!_

The door (which had never closed) was kicked wide open as yet another figure burst into the room. Emily quickly circled around, coming face-to-face with the not-so normal face of her friend. It was……still something to stare at when someone you know so well changed so much. And of course, Dragon felt no need to revert back to human form. She was still a Gil Vader chimera, complete with flexible, black wings that were armed with spikes and buzz saws; a long tail with a parade of spikes down the middle and those two long blades at the end, and even two green masers mounted on her head. Of course, the pointed white teeth came with the set, along with claws and talons, plus a vast array of pointed metal pieces on her body.

Before anyone could speak, Dragon scooted out of the way. "Look guys, look! I found…" And she happily pushed something verybig into the room.

"I found a box!"

Silence.

"HOORAY!"

"Yes!"

"Woohoo!"

"Good job, Dragon!"

Emily sweatdropped. She couldn't quite grasp what was so amazing about a cardboard refrigerator box. It seemed to be a whole new religion for the Dragon's Flame members, for they were happily tugging the behemoth into the room. In an impossible second, Dragon was standing beside Emily, grinning proudly at the box. "His name is Boxy." She said. Emily blinked. "You……named it?" She asked, to which Dragon bobbed her head yes. "Fits, right?"

"Of course."

---Elsewhere!---

_So I can't find the Wii and that stupid chipmunk thing ate all the Oreos. I would eat her but furry things tickle my throat. _Phantom rambled, turning her leg close to one of the powerful Hanger lights. The purple gem mounted there sucked up the heat like a vacuum, despite there being no need. For sitting next to silver 'noid was a monster, a gigantic red beast more then twice her size. Green optics burning with intensity, the Organoid leaned his pointed snout to the white weapon grasped in his massive Death Razer claws. _This game never gets old._ Axis chuckled, a ring of smoke escaping his toothy maw. Phantom blinked, her own gun lying beside her. _Oh how I missed the smell of roasting pants._ She cooed, hugging the gun happily. Axis opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by two more p00fings onto the catwalk circle.

_Alright ladies, this is how its gonna go down._ The blue Wolfnoid said, a look of seriousness on his face. Axis growled softly, but the Organoid took no notice. _These are our weapons; Tampons, Condoms, Orgasm Enhancers, and peanuts._ The wolf said, dumping bags upon bags of supplies in front of them. The maggot Organoid next to him laughed, dragon wings flapping lazily. Axis held up a long claw at that, green optics glinting. _Condoms?_ He stated. Storm nodded his w00f head quickly.

_Yeah, I found some in Bull's room._

Axis and Phantom choked. Storm snickered, along with Tu Madre. The 'noids piled everything they had in front of them, and so began the Act of War.

---Main Room lalala---

"Somehow, I knew this was going to happen. I could tell just by Cloud's face when he jumped up my ladder." Emily sighed, sitting on the sofa. Dragon was sprawled on the floor, watching as the base members went to work making armor out of random boxes. Boxy was leaning against the wall, looking like a guard standing watch. Dragon grinned, her Gilvy tail wagging. "Aw, 'c'mon. It'll be so much fun this time!" She prepped. Grinning, the chimera looked over at Edward, who was busy looking at a cardboard circle; a shield. "Uhm…these tampons, they are called. Tank calls them Baby Blockers." He said, holding up one white object.

"Not exactly, bud." Dragon coughed.

"I object to playing this game. I could be playing Twilight Princess right now." Emily grumbled. Dragon scoffed. "Nothing makes a rainy day better then shooting people with TAMPONS!" The girl giggled. Edward blinked slowly, wondering wtf was going on. "Oh, and we have a secret weapons, too." Dragon added with a sly smile.

"……Will it threaten what is left of my sanity?"

"Yes. That and _more_."

Emily did not look happy.

Suddenly, Tank popped up in front of them. The teen looked more excited then ever, nearly shaking with the fun of it all. Grinning, Tank held up a piece of paper. "Spermy and I have a slogan." She said. Dragon raised a brow. "Lay it on me." She muttered.

The paper opened. It was a picture of Tank and Spermy, looking very Badass with Intense Faces of Intense Intensity. Several bloody baby heads littered the picture. Tank grinned, then started reading:

_**Complainers!?**_

_**NOT ON **__**MY**__** WATCH!**_

Every time you make a useless complaint, make a big deal our of something stupid, or are just being generally annoying, Tank and Spermy decapitate a baby! So, for the love of God, don't complain. Take it like a man and go on with life.

"Best thing ever, eh?" Tank said, rolling the paper up. Spermy squealed happily, wrapping his thin tail lovingly around Tank's neck. "Babies? D:" Edward squeaked, eyes shifting nervously. Tank snorted. "Yes. I eat them." She said proudly. Dragon chuckled, getting to her feet. "Simply lovely, Tank." Came the answer. The teen wandered over to the cardboard figures on the ground, absently picking up a Tampon Gun as she went. "Good, good. Very good." She muttered, stroking the Gun's length.

Emily stood and walked after Dragon, careful not to tread on her tail. That happened once, and Emily would never be the same again. Gingerly bending down, the blonde pilot picked up a Tampon Gun. "What's with the shields, helmets, and armor?" She asked. "And why are they _pink?_" Slightly disgusted, the teen held up a hot pink helmet. Dragon shrugged. "Pink is good." She stated.

"Holy Snap and a Half, Batman! Guys, look at this!"

Heads turned to where Boxy leaned, and Bull was staring wide-eyed inside. The shuffle of feet followed as everyone peered into the brown depths of Boxy, wondering what was going on. Bull was speaking rapidly, pointing at the bottom. "I was thinking of how cool a bottomless bag of glue would be, and _look_!" He ranted, finger flailing at a small bottle at the bottom. Carefully, Cloud bent down to scoop it up. "Its…glue." He stated flatly, unscrewing the top. One black-gloved finger stabbed into the bottle, and the man frowned. "I can't feel the bottom." He said, eyebrows raised in shock.

"Make way, let me try." Tank ordered. "What did you do, Bull?" She asked.

"I was just thinking of it and I touched Boxy. I put my hand on him for support." The blue-haired pilot stated. Tank nodded, then reached out to close the box's doors. A hush fell as the people watched. Tank placed her hand on the box and the seconds ticked by. It was wonderfully dramatic and heart-pounding. "I wished for a self-setting alarm clock that will go off by mind control and makes tacos while singing "The Happy Song." And it's green with yellow cherries." The chimera informed. With that said, she flung open the brown doors.

Sitting quietly on the box floor was a clock. It was green with yellow cherries. Mouths gaped open and eyes opened in shock as the members stared at the clock. Suddenly…

"_I am really special 'cuz there's only one of me!_" The clock started as tacos exploded out from its sides. Tank yelped in surprise, and the clock shut off.

Silence.

"Dude."

"Magic box?"

"Wow."

"Wish for some money!"

"Where did it come from?"

"No!" Dragon hissed, throwing herself in front of Boxy. "We have been graced with this magic box, so we must use it for good!" She speeched. Roy's brow furrowed slightly. "Like what?" He asked. Dragon scoffed. "Like using it against Organoids:D" She answered cheerfully. Roy opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it. Blargh. Suddenly, Dragon whirled around and placed both sets of claws on Boxy's doors.

"I want my secret weapon; a handheld cannon that fires STDs and/or cheese whiz that explodes on impact. It cannot be destroyed nor lost, and the cannon is a steak sauce bottle." The Gilvy chimera muttered. The doors flung open and there, placed on the bottle, was a bottle. It looked like a simple steak sauce bottle, and Dragon reached down to pick it up.

"Can I try next?" Emily asked. She wanted a Gunbly, damnit! Dragon ignored her, and pressed a button on the bottle.

_FWOOM!_

Thousands of pink and black germs exploded out, impacting heavily with the ceiling. They oozed and dripped there, squealing angrily. Dragon blinked, mouth gaping as she watched.

"Duuuuude." She started. Her gaping mouth slowly formed into a grin as she clutched the bottle. "I HAVE THE POWAH!" She yelled, holding the bottle up. Emily rolled her eyes and touched Boxy's side as the flaps closed. The members pushed aside, waiting in awe. Emily was silent for a moment, then reached out to open the doors.

"Oh no-"

"Ho-sna-!"

"Ahhh!"

Gunblasters. Hundreds of little chibi Gunblys rushed from Boxy, roaring, chittering, and firing they homgHyperRollingCannons. Flailing, Echo yanked open the Main Room's doors, letting the beasties rampage outside.

"Gunblasters? _Gunblasters?_" Dragon squawked, tail smacking one aside. Emily made a ":3" face and picked one up to snuggle it. "Cute" She said happily. The Gunbly Parade rambled into the Hanger, causing Zoids to roar in protest.

_**Wtf, mate?**_ Howled a Whitz Wolf, skittering away from the Gunblys. Beside him, a Geno Scissors roared angrily, raising his foot to kill one of the little buggers. Dragon and Emily rushed into the Hanger, watching as Big Zoids and Little Zoids ran around.

They left Boxy unattended.

"Watch out!" Radium called, running outside. Spinning around, Dragon could only glimpse her friends fleeing before……

More Zoids.

Gil Vaders, Liger Zeros, Blade Ligers, Genosaurers, Bio Volcanoes, Konig Wolves, Deadborders, and Iguans poured out of the door, squealing and running amuck. Along with them the members were carried, drowning in a sea of tiny Zoids. Still up on the catwalk, the Organoids looked down. Fenrir, Cloud's huge and pointed Wolfnoid had joined them, a Tampon Gun fixed in his jaws. All of them stared down, wondering wtf was going on.

_Uhm…...ATTACK!_ Storm cried, first to overcome his shock. _Bull, your pants are MINE!_ Phantom echoed, diving off the catwalk. Tampons rained from below, hitting Zoids and humans alike. Dragon hissed angrily, pointing the STD skyward. "Eat HIV, freaks!" She yelled, pressing the button.

_FWOOM!_

The STDs blasted out, adding to the immense chaos. Sensing his kind, Spermy happily floated onto view. He landed atop a mini Genosaurer, squeaking happily as he ran around. _**This is madness!**_ Shinobi snarled. The Murasame Liger danced away from a snapping Konig Wolf, only to crush a Liger Zero in the process. _**Oops, sorry.**_ He rumbled. _**NO! THIS IS PLANET ZI!**_ Nebuchadnezzar screamed. The pink bling Iguan was skipping around some of his fellows, oblivious to the flying tampons, condoms, and STDs.

Speaking of condoms…

"You bitch! Those are mine!" Bull yelled, pointing at Axis. How dare he go through the man's valuables! The fiery 'noid sneered, a rain of condoms pouring down for the blue-haired pilot. Bull squeaked, then dove for cover under a patch of squeaking Gil Vaders. Sadly, this move left his rear in plain view.

_YOUR BUTT IS NO MATCH FOR ME, PUNY SQUISHE! D_ Phantom cackled, letting a fireball fly for Bull's butt. The pilot yowled and jumped up, hands clasping the smoking hole in his arse. Wearing a grin of victory, Phantom flapped her wings and soared to the ceiling, grasping it with her black claws. Below her, Fenrir charged through the mess, Orgasm Enhancers zooming into the mess of squabbling squishes. Frantic from his blindness, Zack broke through the mounds of chibi Zoids, pulling out a weapon as he did so.

It was just a stock Tampon Gun, but still deadly in it's own right. Looking to where the motorcycle sounds of Fenrir were coming from, Zack fired a string of cottony white death at the Wolf. "Day!" The pilot yelled, nearly tripping over a passing Genosaurer. A rumble sounded, and a very large, very sharp white claw scooped Zack up. _**Careful now.**_ The voice growled, looking down to avoid crushing anyone. Safe in the claws of his Bio Chimera, Zack counterattacked to a flying Tu Madre. The maggot 'noid was bombing everything in sight.

"_OBJECTION!!!!!"_

The cry tore through the Hanger madness. The vibrating roar of a car sounded out, and none other then Emperor came barreling forward. The rust Hummer 3 veered around the chibi Zoids, his Vulcan firing Tampon after Tampon.

_FWOOM!_

The STD Cannon blazed, sending a wave of STDs at Storm. The blue Organoid cried out as they glued themselves to his fur, gumming in his boosters. The wolf fell, flailing through the air until he slammed onto Matrix's backpack. The Fury woke with a start, his eyes flaring white as he took in the madness. _**WHAT!?**_ He roared, rearing to his feet. _**Emily?**_ He lashed, head tossing too and fro.

"In here." Said pilot answered. She clung for dear life to Emperor's seatbelt, the Hanger flying around as Ari drove. Damn, that she drove like a maniac. Dragon was hollering and cheering from the front seat, STDs filling the air around her. Matrix sneered, ready to topple the car when a flurry of tampons flew into his mouth.

_Got ya._ Phantom chuckled. She fell from the ceiling, wings opening to catch her fall. Axis was a short ways away, switching between tampons and condoms as he fired them upon Cloud and poor Edward. _**I got ya, Cloudy! **_Barked a Zoid. Rushing in full speed, a Konig Wolf MK II barreled into the Hanger, stopping only to let Cloud and Ed scamper onto his head. Cackling in malice, Axis followed them, his four fire wings flapping powerfully. _Escape is futile!_ He cawed, tampons flying onto the Wolf's head. _**Noes! Hold on, friends!**_ Roukyou warned, taking a sharp left to avoid smacking into Nebuch. The pink Iguan shrugged, then kept on skipping though the area.

"Taking heavy fire! I need back up!" Tank yelled. Her silver wings were open wide, but she hit everyone at once. Snarling, the chimera dove low, over a fleeing Echo, and grabbed a Gunbly. The little Zoid blinked in confusion, followed by a squeal as he was suddenly tossed threw the air. Axis gave a surprised snarl as a face full of Gunbly smacked into his mug, causing him to flail and screech in anger. Chuckling, Tank dropped through the air and somehow fit herself though Emperor's window. She sat on the seat and smiled over at Emily, who was frowning at her rampaging Berserk Fury.

"Lovely night, eh?" Tank asked. Emily turned to her and raised a brow. "Its like no other. Jake's gonna wonder where the last ounce of my sanity went. : " Emily answered. All around them tampons were flying, Zoids were stomping, STDs were STDing, and baby Zoids were loling. Azeroth, Murtagh's Gairyuki, snapped up a chibi Deadborder in his powerful jaws, causing Radium to shrill and kick his foot in anger.

AND THEN.

The thunder roared. Something broke. Silence fell. Heads peered out the Hanger, warily looking at a massive glowing pit near the Hanger. Roars were coming from the inside, growing louder despite the wind and rain.

_Not good._ Emperor pointed out.

"I'm too young to die! D:" Dragon choked.

"I'm too pretty to die!" Bull said.

"YAY DEATH!" Tank cheered.

Emily gulped. "At least I score the last sentence before our doom."

The pit blew up. Shapes leaped clear of the falling rocks and Deochalum, rain making their armor slick. Fifteen bodies leered at the Hanger, jaws curling up over silver-toothed maws. The Zoids stepped closed, massive back guns twitching as they did so. A single Zoid led the pack, visibly bigger and more scarred then the others. Her green optics burned with delight, body pulsating with toxic light.

_**We would like to play.**_ She purred threateningly. The Deadborder's behind her nodded in excitement. Dragon's mouth fell open.

"Whoa momma." She said. Radium shook her head.

"No, that's _Big_ Momma!" She corrected. Without another word, the Deadborders pulled out huge Tampon Guns, their claws on the triggers.

---

_Maybe we should go down there? Looks like a party._

Two figures stood atop the head of a lone Gunguyarados, staring out at the warfare in the distance. Even from here, they could hear the yells of people and Zoids.

"You can go. I'm fine here." Murtagh answered. His stormy eyes didn't look at Saber, who huffed in answer. _Sourpuss. It's raining, so lets go._ She muttered, snapping her claws. Instantly, a massive figure appeared next to the Gungy, who did even budge. Instead, he spoke. _**Hey there, Reyzahr.**_ The dragon said politely. The Gil Vader grunted in answer, his white body a halo against the dark sky. Saber leaped easily to her Gilvy, Bio Carno claws grasping onto his wing. _C'mon Murtagh, let's go._ Saber cooed, her pointy red tail wagging slightly. Murtagh looked at her, a frown on his face. "Fine." He growled. Without another word, he slipped into Cyndar's cockpit. The Gungy and Gilvy shook off some rainwater, then flew for the black Base.

---

It was utter chaos.

_More_ chibi Zoids were popping out, some of them singing. Mini Spartans battled with the tiny Zoids, while larger Zoids claws for the Organoids sailing above and below. The air was filled with sexual devices, rain, and gunpowder.

"Dragon! We gotta get rid of the Deadborders!" Emily ordered, still smushed in Emperor's backseat. Ari was driving like a crazy mother, the H3's tires pinning around in thick mud. Yes, the battle had been taken to the outdoors. The loyal Zoids, who were helping to defeat the Deadborder menace, had rescued their pilots from gory dhoom. Boxy was carefully stowed in Emperor's trunk, safe from harm. "I know! But how?" Dragon answered, firing the STD cannon at one Deady's open maw.

_**Back in your Hellhole, freaks! **_Strife the Mighty Brastle Tiger roared, using an awesome Chuck Norris kick to smash a Deady in the chest. The squishy lizard bellowed, falling back and impaling itself on a Deochalum shard. The Deadborder oozed green stuff and twitched spastically, dropping its weapon and falling into a CSF. Giving a victory roar, Strife lunged forward to find more souls to feed on. Matrix joined her, crashing through the Deochalum with enough force to split the rocks in two. _**Emily! Emily!!!!!**_ He screeched, optics burning bright red in seething hate. Chibi Zoids were squashed under his golden nails, but the towering Zoid didn't so much as give them a thought. No, he had to find and yell at his pilot, damnit!

Then it happened.

Everything went quiet.

It was as if someone flicked the Off switch to "off". Zoids fell silent as a deathly aura swarmed the area like a fog, choking out the noise with the heavy blanket. Emperor drowned to a stop, headlight eyes looking around nervously for this strange being. Ari frowned and Dragon sat down in the seat as Tank clutched Boxy. Emily only wondered how she was still alive.

"Whoa. Guys, look at that." Dragon whispered, pointing a claw at the clearing in front of them.

_Lights!_

_Whoosh!_ Was the sound of a dozen high-power stadium lights suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Tampon and Condom Guns dropped to the ground with a hefty clatter as everyone gazed dumbfounded at the figures that were lit in the bright lights.

Standing side by side were two beasts, both on their hind legs. The smaller one was brown, with gigantic teeth that seemed too big for his skinny jaw. Her arms were folded and wings pulled tight to her back as the spiked, reptilian tail wagged gently behind her. A black hat was seated at an angle on the creature's head, a gaping hole in the top for her bright yellow horn. The second Organoid was much taller, her body of a copper color. The monster was Gil Vader in style, and she wore an evil grin of smugness.

A dozen or so Chibi Zoids stood at the paws of the Organoids, but their backs were to the audience. The chatter and whispers of Zoids and Organoid murmured through the air, as well as the soft landings of Gilvy and Gungy. Silently, Murtagh and Saber peeked out to watch the show.

"TankDragon and Rosalyn? What are they doing here?" Emily asked, opening the car door and stepping out. The others followed, squinting in the radiant light. TankDragon and Rosie didn't move, only grinned and waited. Finally, it hit Dragon like a sack of wet cement. Maybe it was the baggy clothes and gold bling the Organoids wore, and perhaps TankDragon's nature for mischief. The Chimera gasped and clasped a claw to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. "Oh no! Oh freakin' crap! Turn away guys, TankDragon is gonna-"

_Rosie! I heard this bitch talking about me yesterday, spillin' some no-good crap about my persona, yo!_ The brown creature barked suddenly, thrusting her narrow maw at Rosie's squat and thicker snout. The Gil Vader Organoid snarled, jerking her head and smashing her tail onto the ground in rage. _Say what!? A'right girl, tell me you jumped that hoe! _Rosie snapped, folding her arms across her chest. TankDragon nodded, silver optics gleaming behind very dark sunglasses. _Sure did! I laid that bitch out!_ The smaller answered, flaring her arms out and lifting her head high. _Me and mah boys went over to her house; popped a cap in her ass and taught her never to mess with TD._ She added, whirling to face the curious Zoids, Organoids, people, and All Things. Rosie growled, flexing a claw at the Chibi Zoids in preparation.

Dragon gulped. Tank ducked behind her, fearing the worst. Ari just shook her head, suddenly feeling the dire need for a nap and stiff glass of alcohol. Emily didn't know what was coming, poor soul.

That was when the music started.

_Solider Boy I tell ya, I got a dance for ya'll called the Solider Boy._

"TankDragon! Please, think of the children!" Dragon screamed, but alas, she was too late.

The Chibi Zoids spun around, snapping their fingers/claws/whatever and moving their legs in the correct dance. They were rather good, getting the moves right to the note. Even Rosalyn had some skill, mastering the flow of the moves with ease.

But TankDragon……

Soulja Boy off in this hoe, watch me crank it, watch me roll, watch me crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat hoe! 

The music was only an extension of TankDragon's loud, grating voice. Her body flew effortlessly with the moves, standing out perfectly from everyone else. Jaws dropped all around them, speechless as they witnessed this awful undertaking.

_Now watch me do!_ Rosie screeched, still snapping her claws and twisting her legs.

Crank Dat Soulja Boy! The Chibi Zoids pipped in usion. The back-up lyrics went on a few more times, and TankDragon reverted to breakdancing to past time. It was a strange sight, but no one could look away as the brown Organoid spun her body into all sorts of odd shapes and angles. Then the dance moves changed; Rosie and the Chibis made wave motions with their arms in addition to the finger snapping, the TankDragon went on singing. 

Soulja Boy off in this hoe, watch me lean and watch me rock,Super Man dat hoe then watch me Crank Dat robocop super fresh, now watch me jock, jocking on them Haterz Man when I do dat Soulja Boy, I lean to the left and Crank Dat Dance.

_Now you!_ Rosie and the Chibis added, their voices echoing into the distance. There were various sputtering noises around them as the loose Chibi Zoids flatered and sizzled, followed by exploding in mere seconds. Dragon blinked at this new discovery, then looked back at TD.

"TankdDragon! Keep singing!" She cried. Tank deadpanned. "Are you kidding me! My ears are bleeding!" She protested. Dragon nodded in agreement. "Yeah, mine too. But looks, the Chibi Zoids and Deadborders are going offline!" She pointed out. Even so, TD was no way stopping. A few more profound lyrics, followed by more weird dance moves, and another round of a chorus. However, there was another encore of chorus, in which TankDragon and Rosie both did breakdancing. Flips and other moves went on as the Chibi Zoids sang their chorus to match every pitch.

The song progressed, TankDragon shouting the lyrics louder and louder. Chibi Zoids exploded and Deadborders crashed to the ground as pairs of ears bleed rivers of blood. Luckily tho, the Dragon's Flame Base Zoids and 'noids had vanished, safe from this awful power. But the performers were having a great time, laughing and dancing like they ruled Zi. Up in the sky above, it looked like the two moons themselves had been split in a million shards by the earsplitting howls.

Finally, the song ended.

TankDragon and Rosie bowed deeply as the Chibi Zoids vanished behind them, traveling to parts unknown. Grinning proudly, TankDragon tromped over to the squishes, who were joined by their fellow squishy friends. Their looks were blank, jaws open and eyes wide. TD just grinned wider.

_Yeah, I'm good. _Was all she said. And without another word, she and Rosie teleported into the Base. Pink sparkles washed over the humans, but they didn't seem to notice. "_That was the worse thing ever._" Dragon snarled, shaking her head. Tank nodded rapidly, silver eyes rolling. "I'm ready to go home now." Emily squeaked, looking for her crazed Fury. Hopefully he didn't blow up or something.

"Oh no, you are staying. Sleep over time!" Dragon exclaimed, grabbing her friend's arm. In a matter of ten minutes, all the humans were piled up in the Main Room, leaving the mess of corpses, tampons, Orgasm Enhancers, condoms, and STDs to be cleaned up for another day. The Zoids trumbled into the Hanger, looking forward to a nice long nap after the day's shennagians, and the Organoids barged right into the Main Room to keep the pilot's company. The room was pretty crowded, since everyone wanted to discuss the adventure the night had brought. TankDragon and Rosie took up the most room, sprawling on the couches like they owned them or something.

In the course of four hours, over sugary snacks, Wii-ing, chick flicks, gossiping (Does Emily still have her virginity:O), and laughter, most of the friends had fallen asleep. Bull was snoring loud enough to be considered a Gil Vader's roar while Saber and Murtagh slumped on each other's shoulders. Edward was happy on his corner of floor, tall body curled impossibly small. Ari and Echo were curled up together as Radium and Tank had fallen into a mess of limbs. Zack had drifted off on a beanbag chair and Cloud didn't nod off until he was absolutely positive that TankDragon wouldn't try and sleep on top of him again.

Dragon and Emily, TankDragon and Rosie remained awake. TD had curled up into a ball, humming a tune as Dragon stroked her shaggy brown fur. The Chimera and human were lucky enough to snag a cough each before anyone else, but they had to share it with the heavy enigmas. Rosie couldn't fit of course, and had an entire section of floor devoted only to her.

Size DOES matter! D 

"Alright, that was fun, I'll admit." Emily started, yawning widely at the end of her sentence. It was just past five in the morning, the blazing sun just peaking over the remaining Deochalum shards. No doubt this little party would be sleeping late tonight. Over my Emily's foot, Phantom snorted and kicked her leg out, almost knocking Storm's head right off. Dragon chuckled, drawing the pink blanket over her head. "Fun indeed! What'cha wanna do tomorrow?" She asked, eyes peering out from the fabric. Emily shrugged. "I dunno." She answered.

_Lets go shopping! You two need a girl's day, no boys and no 'noids but us!_ TankDragon added, chuckling lightly.

_Boys are entertaining though. They scream girly screams when I spray pink slime in their hair._ Rosie gurgled, shifting a foreleg.

"Shopping sound good?" Dragon muttered, eyelids closing as her mind drifted into sleep.

"First thing in the morning. Or afternoon. Does that sound better?" Emily replied, voice cracked by the urge to sleep.

"Just peachy." Dragon answered.

The smaller group fell asleep, tired bodies responding instantly to the command of drifting off into dreams.

However, something was stirring outside.

An Energy Liger and two SnipeMasters paused at the wreakage, their pilots taking in the sight with surprised faces. Wolff Muroa, Aaron and Alex Daedalus couldn't take their eyes off the ruined area; it was like a hurricane or something! Wolff came since Jacob sent him, badgering and whining about how Emily could be dead or something. The Zenebas Prince left party because Emily was gone for a while, but mostly because Jacob's constant fretting was Really Annoying.

The Twins only came because they met up with Wolff, who didn't remember the way. So happy day, his saviors lead him to the Dragon's Flame Base. But this charred and steamy mess wasn't what they were expecting.

So all three people said the same thing at the same exact time.

"What'd we miss?"

----

Rushed, I know. But I wanted to get it out there already. Hope ya'll enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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